by Sydra Weston | Dating While Waiting, Relationships
As you are in your season of singleness the most important thing to remember is to never be anxious. You want to ask the question, “Who sent you?” My pastor always tells us that there are two reasons why people come into our lives. The first reason is to bring forth blessings, growth, or to push us towards our God given purpose. The other reason is because it’s a trap sent by the enemy. When I thought about being anxious and the enemy, these two scriptures came to mind:
“do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”
Philippians 4:6 ESV
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”
John 10:10 ESV
Both of these scriptures tell us to draw near to God. We do this by first starting with prayer and then asking God to reveal the person’s intentions early on. Ask God to help you see with your spiritual eyes and ignite your discerning spirit. Pray for wisdom and understanding. Seek good and Godly counsel, be patient, and take your time.
Anxious
Wanting something very much is not a good thing. For starters, if you want something that much more than God—he’s not going to give it to you. That’s because he’s a jealous God and he sees that you will put that man or woman before him. Yes, I get it. All of your friends are married or getting married and you will be the only one single. So—your purpose and path is totally different from theirs. Stop comparing your life to others.
Being anxious disarms you. You will be floating on clouds of “what-if” and not paying attention to the signs of what it really is. If you are not careful, you won’t be able to discern that God did not send that person. Hold up! Who sent you?
Being anxious causes us to forget the vital question of “Who sent you” in our dating process. Which puts us in a state of becoming wishful, lustful, and desperate. Being anxious causes us to leave our weapons behind and ultimately leaves us open to be attacked by the enemy. Not every door is a Godly door, but how would you know if you are so anxious, that you just want to get in the door.
Prayer Life
Your prayer life is important when discerning and asking God to reveal to you why a particular man or woman is entering into your life. Question everything! Just remember that you’re to ask God to lead you and guide you. Not your friends. Don’t get me wrong, you should always have a village that you can go to and get counsel, but the chief of that village is God.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”
Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV
A good prayer life helps you discern whether or not the man or woman that has entered your life is a counterfeit or a God sent person. It keeps your mind and thoughts fixated on God, so that he can lead you and guide you. A good prayer life helps you put all your faith and trust in God, so that he can bring your God sent to you at His appointed time and that He will make it plan and clear who she or he is. Remember your God sent always pushes you towards God. A counterfeit distracts you and leads you through a path of ungodliness.
Bad Faith
Without a good prayer life, that’s when anxiousness comes into play and formulate bad faith or no faith thoughts and decisions. When you become anxious because finally you got approached by that man or finally that woman you pursued is interested in you, you get distracted and mesmerize by your feelings and emotions that you don’t use your spiritual eyes to discern what type of person you have let into your life. By you having bad faith or no faith you are also in a state of double mindedness. A bad faith belief may be formed through self-deception. It causes you to think she or he is so into you, but the truth of the matter is that they never were and and their purpose was to simply steal your joy, your hopes, and the best years of your life. Because you became so anxious, you missed all the red flags until it was too late. This brings me to these two scriptures.
“Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.”
James 4:8 ESV
“he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.”
James 1:8 ESV
With bad faith or no faith in God how can you tell the fake from the God sent? How can you see the fraudulent behaviors that are not from God? That’s right, you can’t. That’s because you’re unstable. When you become unstable it’s hard for you to discern good from evil or a counterfeit from your God sent.
Who Sent You?
Asking the question, “Who sent you?” Allows God to shut the door that was opened to bring you heartbreak, setback, confusion, drama, etc. Asking God to reveal to you,“Who sent you?” allow him to shutdown and run off the very thing that was sent to come to distract you, bringing drama and confusion in your life, to set you up for a setback. The very thing that was meant to keep you at the same place of “why me”, loneliness, and being insecure will be overturned by leading with God and asking him to help you discern, “Who sent you”.
Don’t get caught up in being overly excited about you “finally” catching someone’s attention and you start to develop feelings before deciphering “Who sent you?” Remember this question is very important as you are in your single season, for there are two reasons that people come into your life and not everyone that enters your life is God sent.
by Sydra Weston | Faith
It’s graduation season!! Such an exciting time for the class of 2017. I am super excited for all the graduates that are graduating from elementary school , middle school, high school, and college.🎓 Congratulations and best wishes to you all!
It is such a great experience and feeling to walk across a stage to accept your diploma. Having family and friends there cheering you on for achieving such an amazing accomplishment is one of life greatest milestones. Whether it’s moving on to the next grade level or about you beginning your career and life after college—the best is yet to come!
Purpose
This brings me to purpose. Do you know what your purpose is on earth? Everyone is born of purpose. It’s just up to us to discover what that purpose is and how will we use it. Will you use it for good or bad? Will you use it to self promote or kingdom promote? There will be many test, trials, and tribulations that you will go through as you learning what your purpose is here on earth, but in the end it will be all worth it.
“I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted.”
Job 42:2 NIV
Job let us know that our purpose through God will never be prevented and with God we can do all things. This is just the beginning for you! Don’t second guess what God has given you and don’t compare it to others either. Understand that distractions will come into play when we start comparing ourselves to others and try to mirror our purpose and success to someone else. Everyone wants to be successful, however no one has a manual to success. Someone can tell you what they did to become successful, but that doesn’t mean success will turn out the same way for you as it did for them. What worked for one person doesn’t necessarily mean it will work for you.
“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10 ESV
Good things are happening in your life right now, but know that even better things are going to happen in your future especially when you include God in your planning process and you are seeking your purpose through him.
This is just the beginning! Pray. Ask God to show you your purpose and what he wants you to discover during this next phase in your life. Also, consider that your purpose is not about you, but what God wants to do through you.
“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21 NIV
by Sydra Weston | Faith
I will start off my post by lifting up in prayer the individuals that lost their lives last night and the ones that were injured in The Greater Manchester area of Manchester, England at Ariana Grande concert at the Manchester Arena. What was supposed to be a night fun, ended in tragedy. Praying for strength for the families and friends during this time of bereavement and recovery.
It seems like every day we get up out of bed—we’re fighting. It’s like a tag-of-war between good and evil or success and failure. Daily we’re fighting for our peace of mind, joy, strength, pursuit to happiness, health, children, paying our bills, families, and I could go on and on.
This years seems like a rolls coaster of emotions. We’re happy one minute and instantly that happiness turns into sorrow, hurt, pain, or anger. We’re dealing with the loss of our love ones, the loss of our jobs, fighting with our children to make sure that they are staying on the right path, fighting with our finances, fighting to keep our family together, etc. It’s a lot.
The sad thing is, no one seems to know how to channel their emotions anymore. No one is seeking out God either. Instead, we are trying to fix things on our own. This question came to mind, When did we stopped believing and trusting in God? When did we stop seeking his counsel?
It may seem like we fighting these battles on our own— but what about God? Who do we think is giving us the strength to keep fighting? Who do we think is helping us win the wars of life and is sustaining us when we have one, two, or ten things are coming at us all at one time and at different angles? Why do we forget that he told us to fear not because He is with us?
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. “All who rage against you will surely be ashamed and disgraced; those who oppose you will be as nothing and perish. Though you search for your enemies, you will not find them. Those who wage war against you will be as nothing at all. For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.” Isaiah 41:10-13 NIV
I am seeing it more and more that when we pray and things doesn’t turn out the way we “thought” they should be. When this happens, we tend to have a problem with that and God. It’s like we forget that life’s battles are not ours, but the Lord’s. It’s like we forget that it’s his will and not our will. Nothing catches Him by surprise.
As we face obstacles, trials, and tribulations we must not forget that our strength comes from God. He is our safe place, he is sustaining us, and although we physically cannot see Him, He’s right behind us pulling the rope with us.
“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1 NIV
The battle is already won!
by Sydra Weston | Relationships
Congratulations to Pippa Middleton for her nuptials this weekend! The wedding looked amazing and the dress she had on was absolutely gorgeous.
Reading about her nuptials made me think about how as little girls we dream of the day that we get to walk down an aisle, dressed in the most beautiful wedding dress we could find, and the groom (our protector, cover-er, and Boo) is standing at the opposite end waiting to embark on a journey where two become one.
From the flowers to the venue—brides all over the world want one thing, “The Prefect Wedding”. The prefect wedding invitations, food, and cake are all important. However, how often do you hear during the process of planning and prepping for the big day a bride expressing them wanting their marriage to be fruitful, prosperous, and everlasting (besides during the wedding vows)? For the most part the primary focus is on “The Wedding“. Who will be attending the wedding, where will the wedding be held, what type of cake will they have, what kind of gifts will they request; the list goes on and on.
What about the marriage? What happen when the last guest leaves the wedding? What happens they day after? How will they move past the engagement experience to the wedding excitement, and now a wife? These are powerful questions to ask oneself. The most important question is do you want the wedding or the marriage?
The Wedding
The wedding day can be the most exciting day of a bride’s life. It’s a day where the bride get to retire her single hat. It’s a day that a bride is surrounded by her family and friends to showcase her uniting with her husband. It’s a day that every bride maps out detail by detail as to how perfect it should be.
The wedding is the day where a bride can hold up her left hand proudly and say with pride, “I’s married now” and celebrate the day that she stops hearing the questions, “When are you going to get married?”, “Why aren’t you married yet?”, and the most famous question of them all, “Why are you still single?”
The wedding day is full of laughter, joy, excitement, and from what my friends tell me a blur. I have been told by quite a few people that they don’t remember what happened during their wedding day. With the overwhelming excitement of the day, going from one extreme to another, and completely passing out afterwards— they don’t remember a thing.
I know that I’ll be excited about that day when I enter into that season, however my focus today is “The Marriage”. I’m choosing the marriage and not the wedding. Why got caught up with one day, when I have a lifetime and legacy to build with my husband in our marriage?
The Marriage
The marriage is a lifetime, a bond between husband and wife, and a secret union of love, friendship, and trust. The marriage has its highs and it has its lows, but it memorable and not a blur. Through the trails and tribulations that life brings, the marriage helps you grow and learn skills that you would’ve been able to achieve on your own (single).
When looking at marriages in my single season, I can’t help but take this time and learn and grow from the successes and failures of the marriages I have been exposed to. This is the time where I look at marriages in the way God intended them to be. This is time to focus on being and becoming a wife.
Often times women marry excepting to become wives after the wedding, when in fact we should already be in our process of becoming one in our single-hood. Proverbs 18:22 reads, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” How can he find you, if you’re not cultivating yourself on being a wife? And if you’re not focused on becoming a wife, you’ll get caught up on the hoopla of “The Wedding” and miss the most important part; which is the marriage.
Just may random thoughts. I choose “The Marriage”! Marriage is an intimate union between a man and a woman, and it definitely won’t be a blur. Unless you marry someone you had NO business marrying…that’s for an post.
by Sydra Weston | Dating While Waiting
Welcome! What better way to start off my very first post. I am both nervous and excited to be embarking on this journey with you. Writing has always been a passion of mine and for years I have gone backwards and forward about whether or not I wanted to share my thoughts, feelings, life, viewpoints, and passions with the world. I am stepping out of my comfort zone. I guess that’s where the nervousness and excitement comes into play.
One of the topics you will see a lot of on my blog is topics relating to relationships. I love relationships. I believe that God created us to have the ultimate relationship with him. From our relationship with God that we foster and build on daily; that relationship is then transferred over to our family, friends, neighbors, and communities.
I will also be writing about life, current events, my random thoughts, opinions, and whatever else comes to mind. These will be my personal viewpoints and what I enjoy writing about as I am on this journey.
As an author of soon to be released book titled, Dating While Waiting I highlight the importance of relationship our teens should have with God and from that relationship they can develop tools to use to stay true to their purity vow. After you finish reading this post head over to my website www.sydraweston.com and get some more information about the book and about me.
Welcome! I hope that with you, this journey will be amazing.
Be Blessed,
Sydra L. Weston.
