Hold Up! Who Sent You?

by | Dating While Waiting, Relationships

As you are in your season of singleness the most important thing to remember is to never be anxious. You want to ask the question, “Who sent you?” My pastor always tells us that there are two reasons why people come into our lives. The first reason is to bring forth blessings, growth, or to push us towards our God given purpose. The other reason is because it’s a trap sent by the enemy. When I thought about being anxious and the enemy, these two scriptures came to mind:

“do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”

Philippians‬ ‭4:6‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”

‭‭John‬ ‭10:10‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Both of these scriptures tell us to draw near to God. We do this by first starting with prayer and then asking God to reveal the person’s intentions early on. Ask God to help you see with your spiritual eyes and ignite your discerning spirit. Pray for wisdom and understanding. Seek good and Godly counsel, be patient, and take your time.

Anxious

Wanting something very much is not a good thing. For starters, if you want something that much more than God—he’s not going to give it to you. That’s because he’s a jealous God and he sees that you will put that man or woman before him. Yes, I get it. All of your friends are married or getting married and you will be the only one single. So—your purpose and path is totally different from theirs. Stop comparing your life to others.

Being anxious disarms you. You will be floating on clouds of “what-if” and not paying attention to the signs of what it really is. If you are not careful, you won’t be able to discern that God did not send that person. Hold up! Who sent you? 

Being anxious causes us to forget the vital question of “Who sent you” in our dating process. Which puts us in a state of becoming wishful, lustful, and desperate. Being anxious causes us to leave our weapons behind and ultimately leaves us open to be attacked by the enemy. Not every door is a Godly door, but how would you know if you are so anxious, that you just want to get in the door.

Prayer Life

Your prayer life is important when discerning and asking God to reveal to you why a particular man or woman is entering into your life. Question everything! Just remember that you’re to ask God to lead you and guide you. Not your friends. Don’t get me wrong, you should always have a village that you can go to and get counsel, but the chief of that village is God.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭3:5-6‬ ‭ESV

A good prayer life helps you discern whether or not the man or woman that has entered your life is a counterfeit or a God sent person. It keeps your mind and thoughts fixated on God, so that he can lead you and guide you. A good prayer life helps you put all your faith and trust in God, so that he can bring your God sent to you at His appointed time and that He will make it plan and clear who she or he is. Remember your God sent always pushes you towards God. A counterfeit distracts you and leads you through a path of ungodliness.

Bad Faith 

Without a good prayer life, that’s when anxiousness comes into play and formulate bad faith or no faith thoughts and decisions. When you become anxious because finally you got approached by that man or finally that woman you pursued is interested in you, you get distracted and mesmerize by your feelings and emotions that you don’t use your spiritual eyes to discern what type of person you have let into your life. By you having bad faith or no faith you are also in a state of double mindedness. A bad faith belief may be formed through self-deception. It causes you to think she or he is so into you, but the truth of the matter is that they never were and and their purpose was to simply steal your joy, your hopes, and the best years of your life. Because you became so anxious, you missed all the red flags until it was too late. This brings me to these two scriptures.

“Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.”

‭‭James‬ ‭4:8‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.”

‭‭James‬ ‭1:8‬ ‭ESV‬‬

With bad faith or no faith in God how can you tell the fake from the God sent? How can you see the fraudulent behaviors that are not from God? That’s right, you can’t. That’s because you’re unstable. When you become unstable it’s hard for you to discern good from evil or a counterfeit from your God sent.

Who Sent You?

Asking the question, “Who sent you?” Allows God to shut the door that was opened to bring you heartbreak, setback, confusion, drama, etc. Asking God to reveal to you,“Who sent you?” allow him to shutdown and run off the very thing that was sent to come to distract you, bringing drama and confusion in your life, to set you up for a setback. The very thing that was meant to keep you at the same place of “why me”, loneliness, and being insecure will be overturned by leading with God and asking him to help you discern, “Who sent you”.

‬‬Don’t get caught up in being overly excited about you “finally” catching someone’s attention and you start to develop feelings before deciphering “Who sent you?” Remember this question is very important as you are in your single season, for there are two reasons that people come into your life and not everyone that enters your life is God sent.

The Wedding vs. The Marriage…Which One Do You Choose?

by | Relationships

Congratulations to Pippa Middleton for her nuptials this weekend! The wedding looked amazing and the dress she had on was absolutely gorgeous.

Reading about her nuptials made me think about how as little girls we dream of the day that we get to walk down an aisle, dressed in the most beautiful wedding dress we could find, and the groom (our protector, cover-er, and Boo) is standing at the opposite end waiting to embark on a journey where two become one.

From the flowers to the venue—brides all over the world want one thing, “The Prefect Wedding”. The prefect wedding invitations, food, and cake are all important. However, how often do you hear during the process of planning and prepping for the big day a bride expressing them wanting their marriage to be fruitful, prosperous, and everlasting (besides during the wedding vows)? For the most part the primary focus is on “The Wedding“. Who will be attending the wedding, where will the wedding be held, what type of cake will they have, what kind of gifts will they request; the list goes on and on.
What about the marriage? What happen when the last guest leaves the wedding? What happens they day after? How will they move past the engagement experience to the wedding excitement, and now a wife? These are powerful questions to ask oneself. The most important question is do you want the wedding or the marriage?

The Wedding

The wedding day can be the most exciting day of a bride’s life. It’s a day where the bride get to retire her single hat. It’s a day that a bride is surrounded by her family and friends to showcase her uniting with her husband. It’s a day that every bride maps out detail by detail as to how perfect it should be.

The wedding is the day where a bride can hold up her left hand proudly and say with pride, “I’s married now” and celebrate the day that she stops hearing the questions, “When are you going to get married?”, “Why aren’t you married yet?”, and the most famous question of them all, “Why are you still single?”

The wedding day is full of laughter, joy, excitement, and from what my friends tell me a blur. I have been told by quite a few people that they don’t remember what happened during their wedding day. With the overwhelming excitement of the day, going from one extreme to another, and completely passing out afterwards— they don’t remember a thing.
I know that I’ll be excited about that day when I enter into that season, however my focus today is “The Marriage”. I’m choosing the marriage and not the wedding. Why got caught up with one day, when I have a lifetime and legacy to build with my husband in our marriage?

The Marriage 

The marriage is a lifetime, a bond between husband and wife, and a secret union of love, friendship, and trust. The marriage has its highs and it has its lows, but it memorable and not a blur. Through the trails and tribulations that life brings, the marriage helps you grow and learn skills that you would’ve been able to achieve on your own (single).

When looking at marriages in my single season, I can’t help but take this time and learn and grow from the successes and failures of the marriages I have been exposed to. This is the time where I look at marriages in the way God intended them to be. This is time to focus on being and becoming a wife.
Often times women marry excepting to become wives after the wedding, when in fact we should already be in our process of becoming one in our single-hood. Proverbs 18:22 reads, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” How can he find you, if you’re not cultivating yourself on being a wife? And if you’re not focused on becoming a wife, you’ll get caught up on the hoopla of “The Wedding” and miss the most important part; which is the marriage.
Just may random thoughts. I choose “The Marriage”! Marriage is an intimate union between a man and a woman, and it definitely won’t be a blur. Unless you marry someone you had NO business marrying…that’s for an post.